Embracing your unique voice through writing

Hey everyone,

I feel like this is a topic I should talk about here. I've had a few discussions about this with my Street Team and it got me thinking about the things people don't see during the writing process. At least with me. Let's dive in.

I'm a disabled, SAHM and wife who has struggled with more battles than one could imagine for a 25 year old. Despite all that, I've tried to live life like everyone else my age because what do you mean I can't go for a walk whenever I feel like it? Why can't I do the dishes and the laundry in the same day? Why don't I get to leave my house to see the world too?

I tried to ignore my conditions for the longest time, especially when the medical system gaslit me into believing it was all in my head. When I got diagnosed with two kinds of rheumatoid arthritis, my whole world collapsed. Then we began three hour long IV treatments, which resulted in more pain that left me bedridden more often than before. I grew up as a very independent, stubborn woman so when I got told to live like I'm 80 years old...it was a hard pill to swallow.

Since then, my loved ones health has declined alongside mine, which affected my mental health. Around the time I started writing The Lost Prince, I was in the trenches of the post-partum period. On top of that, my husband had suffered two major seizures while at work that has changed the course of life greatly. While I would change nothing, because I am very grateful for the life I have, I really struggled with such drastic changes all at once.

This is the origin story of Amaia Rainwater.

I pulled from my own struggles from childhood to now to create a strong FMC that struggled with her own health ailments but believed she was a burden to everyone around her. Amaia battles with the idea that no matter how hard she tries, she will never be good enough for anyone - that she'll always be the family disappointment. My mother was one of the first to edit this novel as well as the other books in the series. She has left notes in her editing reminding me that I am not a disappoinment nor a burden. I was blessed with parents that recognized the signs of my spirals and offered me the words I needed to hear. There are still times where I strongly believe that my family would've been better off with a perfectly healthy daughter - that my husband would live a better life without a disabled wife. At the end of the day, they prove that I'm the perfect puzzle piece in their world. That I'm more than enough.

The scene where Amaia's life changes in the blink of an eye was pulled from getting my diagnosis and my husband's sudden seizures. I'll never forget the sound that echoed over the phone that day and being able to hear his coworkers shouting for someone to call 911. To this day, I am beyond grateful for how quickly his boss jumped into action, holding my husband's bleeding head in his lap while HR called for an ambulance. HR and my husbands coworkers then went above and beyond, checking in on our family over the following weeks and offering to assist us in any way we needed. They knew we had a little 7 month old boy at home, leaving me to care for both my husband and little one. Thankfully, we have an amazing village that leapt in at the first phone call. My husband's best friend stayed at the hospital with me overnight, my parents took my little one home and watched him so we could figure out what our next course of action was, and our friend that was away travelling called me and showed me his views knowing that it was the type of distraction I needed in that moment.

I had almost stopped writing at this point. I put my work on hold for over 4 months while we navigated the new life we were given. I struggled mentally for weeks and admittedly still do from time to time. I watched the love of my life go from cruising on back roads with the windows down on a Sunday afternoon to losing his license overnight. His entire world was ripped from him and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I watched him struggle, not knowing how to help him. Nothing I seemed to say helped ease the ache and longing he felt for his independence in this world again. Now, here we are, over a year later and nearly thriving. I'm not a firm believer in God, but I prayed that night. I prayed that my husband would find himself again, that he would walk away from this ordeal in one piece. It took awhile, but we're thankful that he's still here with us today. As his wife, I am beyond grateful for the village that stepped up during such a terrible time - especially on such short notice. Becuase of them and all the support we received (and an endless amount of therapy sessions), I was able to pour my heart into my work. Hence Amaia's life changing struggles and how she chose to handle the situation. It was my life that was poured into those pages and I've continued to pour myself into the remaining books.

At the time that I'm writing this, the prequel is set to release in just over a month, book 2 is currently in the editing stages and I've already written over 30,000 words for the final book. Life has crazy things in store for us, but I truly believe that this things can make us stronger. I'm not saying you won't struggle or question if any of this is really worth it, because in the moment, it feels as if there's no end to the hell you're being put through.

But there is a brighter side to things. My family is living proof of that.

So for anyone out there that believes this world is better without you or that you're too much to love - too broken to mend, just know that someone out there has been waiting their whole life to meet you. You just haven't met each other yet.

Lastly, if you or anyone you know are in need of mental health services, please look for any resources available in your area. Lean on a friend when you need to. The world is cruel, but you don't have to face it alone.

-JCS